Pond Scrum: Sinking Yanks have Elling on the defensive

Germany's Martin Kaymer ascends to the top rung in the world, wringing necks and sporting fashionable neckwear along the way.
England's Luke Donald puts together the most emphatic week in Accenture Match Play history, never trails in any match and never plays the 18th hole.
Europeans claim the top four spots in the world golf rankings for the first time since Woosie, Ollie and Seve were in their prime.
Stop us if you've heard this one before -- it's a rough time right now for those of us in the Colonies.
European Tour correspondent John Huggan and CBSSports.com senior writer Steve Elling do a post-mortem on the latest malady to befall the American body politic in this week's transatlantic sniper exchange, Pond Scrum, as the PGA Tour heads to warmer climes in Florida.
By the way, at the Honda Classic this week in Palm Beach Gardens, Fla., seven of the top 13 players in the world ranking are entered -- and only one of those seven is an American.

All hail the new boy king, Martin Kaymer, a 26-year-old German who capped an incredible climb over the past six months by ascending to world No. 1 today. Gents, don your fashionable scarves and swing away.

Huggan: The best thing about Kaymer's rise to No. 1 is that it will stop all the whiners moaning about Westwood being up there despite not winning a major -- as if that is some magic formula for being numero uno.

Elling: Pretty amusing that much of the talk on the weekend centered on the fashionable wear that adorned his neck. From the neck up or from the neck down, he's clearly got everything warmed up and ready to roll. There are a slew of guys around him in the world rankings, but he seems poised to camp in the top spot for a decent while.

Huggan: He did look a bit like Yassar Arafat.

Martin Kaymer had a bandit look going at the Match Play final. (AP)

Elling: The best thing about Kaymer's ascent is that nobody can question whether he deserves it. He was just out of gas Sunday. He played two 18-hole matches the day before. But had he won, it would have been five victories in six months starting with the PGA Championship. Very few players have authored such a memorable and sustained run in the past decade, other than guys named Tiger or Vijay.
Huggan: Still, it must be acknowledged that M.K. is a worthy No. 1. Last year no one accumulated more world ranking points than he did. And it can be argued that, if not for his go-kart accident in 2009, he'd have been up there before now.
Elling: You know who had the second-most ranking points last year? The dude who beat him, Luke Donald. You could win some British bar bets with that one. Kaymer is the whole package. Ran into his mental-game coach, tour caddie Fanny Sunesson, in the Phoenix airport after the match. She carried the bag for four of Nick Faldo's majors. She doesn't say much, but when she does, she gushes about Martin.
Huggan:. It would be something of a surprise if Kaymer does not arrive in Augusta as the best player on the planet. The Fanny thing seems odd on the surface, but it clearly works for Martin. You don't see him making many strategic or mental errors out there. Even stranger is that Fanny doesn't seem to have the same effect on her full-time employer ... Henrik Stenson, who has dropped out of the world's top 50.
Elling: I have been working on Fanny -- wait, that didn't come out right -- for over a year to spill the beans on what she does with Kaymer. It's definitely more of a psychology deal. She has a credential from the PGA Tour this year as a caddie and an instructor, a first. She will be dragging Stenny's bag this week at the Honda. Interesting three-part relationship. She mentioned last night that she doesn't want to work on the mental side with Stenson. She said that work needs to be done off the course. Probably smart. She doesn't need to be mixing caddying, which has odd demands, with mental massaging. Stenson seemingly needs a licensed psychologist at this point.
For the first time since 1992 -- when Woosie, Faldo, Ollie and Seve topped the charts -- there are four Europeans topping the world ranking. Can it get much worse for the Sons of Uncle Sam?
Elling: Of course it can. That particular week in 1992 that was cited, there was one American in the top seven, Fred Couples. It didn't last forever. But the unnerving thing for American fans, and to some degree the domestic TV networks in the States that will be setting right-fees prices soon, is that the American varsity has never looked older. Tiger, Phil and Furyk, the crux of Ryder Cup team and American dominance for the past decade, are smoking like a bad diesel engine.
Huggan: I hear everyone saying that this is a cyclical thing. But I don't see it changing any time soon. The best Euros all seem to be at or just short of their primes, so they have a ways to go at the top of the game. Other than the winless [Rickie] Fowler, I don't see many Americans contending that high on the leaderboards of the world. Matt Kuchar deserves much credit for playing so well for last year or so, but he isn't a winner.
Elling: Rory McIlroy said it in pretty convincing terms last week, when he parsed his words carefully when asked about the younger set making a move. Clearly underscoring the obvious about the opportunity the kids face, he said, "Phil hasn't gotten any worse." The same cannot be said, nor did he utter it, regarding Woods.
Huggan:. I think it is a good thing for America that this is a Presidents Cup year. Not many Internationals showing too much in way of form at the moment.
Elling: Hey, line up the Aussies. We own those guys. You know, a nation of fewer than 20 million people.
Huggan:. I got tired of listening to the point-missers last week -- those who think match play is inferior to the plodding stroke play we see every other week of the year. I didn't see Donald having too many letdowns in any of the matches he played. There was certainly nothing "lucky" about his victory. Which brings me nicely to the fact that he is half-Scottish -- a much-disguised fact in the English media!
Elling: You didn't think the final was a bit tedious? The attendance was thin, too. I guess this is why it's a once-a-year deal. It has too many limits to fully engage the fans and TV side.
Huggan:. It was tedious if you don't understand what you're looking at.
Elling: It was tedious because it was 45 degrees, there were few birdies, and Kaymer was out of gas. There is no disputing that. Kaymer said it himself.
Huggan: America needs to wake up to match play. I used to think baseball was boring until I realized how much is actually going on out there. It's the same with match-play golf.
Elling: Donald is half Scottish? But you Scots generally root against the English in everything. What a quandary for you.
Huggan: Luke's mother is English. Not his fault. Just kidding.
Elling: We Yanks find the U.K. to be an amusing region. For instance, a writer from Wales yesterday half-jokingly said he was pulling for Kaymer against Donald. I think he was joking, anyway.
Huggan: I root for two teams: Scotland and whoever is playing England.
In his latest slap to the face, Tiger Woods lost to Thomas Bjorn in the first round of match play and has logged nine competitive rounds in 2011. I guess at this point, nobody should be surprised that he was blown out early?

Huggan: What perplexes me is the fact that Tiger professes to need more "reps," yet doesn't get off his butt and onto the tour. Play more, you idiot!

Elling: Let me put it this way: In the media pool, I picked Bjorn to win in the first round based on recent form. Then again, I also had Casey and Poulter playing again in the final, and they won a single match between them. But if anybody is surprised by Tiger's sloppy play and early exit, they must be members of his family. Or on his payroll.

Huggan: Plus, it is getting harder and harder to take anything emanating from the Woods camp even remotely seriously. If their lips are moving ...

Tiger Woods shows no signs of digging out of the hole he has been in. (AP)

Elling: The shot he hit on the par-3 third hole against Bjorn was one of the worst I have ever seen leave his clubface. It missed the green by 30 yards and landed right in the middle of the greenside pond. A 10-handicapper shot.
Huggan: The harsh reality is that Tiger is nowhere near winning a tournament at the moment. Good thing there isn't a cut next week in Doral. How is Tiger doing in the "lakes in regulation" stats?
Elling: Leads the tour. Did you say lakes or ladies? What did you make of Johnny Miller's analogy? He compared Tiger to Mike Tyson -- who went to jail, lost a fight to Buster Douglas, lost his mojo, lost the fear factor, became a shadow of his former self. If Tiger can't post better numbers at Doral, sound the alarms. Past winners there have hit less than 50 percent of the fairways (Ogilvy, for one) and so his errant driving should not hamper him as much.
Huggan: Rory has been brave enough to speak up re Tiger. Guys his age don't have the same fear. The only dominant Tiger they have ever seem was on videotape. I'm sick of Tiger. Get back to me when he actually does something worth mentioning.
Elling: It was just another typical Tiger week in Arizona. Want to guess the identity of the only player who was allowed to conduct his pre-tournament press session outside the media center? The ever-indulged Eldrick, who spat out a few words on the range to those who were interested. Every other player sat with the media indoors. Why is this important? Because it underscores how the PGA Tour still capitulates to the guy, which imbues the same damned sense of entitlement that got Woods into trouble in the first place. He must be treated like the other players. Because, at this point, that's all he is.
Characterized as an underachiever for years, England's Luke Donald is suddenly ranked No. 3 in the world, and as one former major winner pointed out on Twitter, that seems a bit high for a guy with two wins in the past five years, no?

Huggan: Don't start with the two-wins-in-five-years stuff, you insular Yank. He won last year in Madrid. I'm not sure Luke has ever underacheived. Given the yardage he doesn't have off the tee, he's doing pretty well, methinks.

Elling: He won in March of 2006. He won last year. He won yesterday. That means two wins since 2006, a span of five years. Nothing insular about it.

Huggan: Ah, "since" makes an appearance. It's time you started paying attention to what goes on over here. You might learn something.
Elling: Don't fixate on semantics. He hasn't won much, and even Donald made that point yesterday. With his lack of firepower off the tee, his margin of error is smaller. Some courses are just going to be too large for him -- either that, or he really has to be running at close to 100 percent of max capacity. Like when Zach Johnson won the Masters and did everything right. But there is hope for Luke. After all, he and Mark Wilson are similar players. There is room for the little guys at the highest levels. Getting to No. 1 is a different story, though.
Huggan: But your point re Luke winning is well-made. He hasn't done enough of that -- anywhere. Things must be tough when you start bringing up Mark Wilson! Good player, no more.
Elling: Mark Wilson is the same stature physically. He has the same limitations in power. Hence, the comparison. What confuses me is that, for a guy sometimes characterized by the U.K. press as soft, Donald is a match-play animal. He has an 8-2-1 mark in Ryder Cup play. Put him in same group with his opponent, and he finds a way to win. He does not back away.
Huggan: His match-play record is great because he is "in" every hole. Eventually that gets to an opponent. There are no free gifts from Luke.
At this time last year, to use a baseball analogy, he was just a longball masher who repeatedly had struck out when the game was on the line in the late innings Sunday. Now he's won two tournaments, lost a major in a playoff, and made the final four at Match Play. It begs the question, is Bubba Watson for real?

Huggan: Bubba is amazing. First golfer I've ever seen who finishes his swing looking directly at the hole.

Elling: I gotta say, he has made some impressive strides in the past year. I don't know if he's the best American at the moment, but you could make that case. He is, flat out, the most entertaining to watch. He never swings the same way twice. His golf swing is ad-libbed to suit his whim at the moment.

Bubba Watson is fun, but does he have the swing to stand up at the majors? (AP)

Huggan: Is the way he plays a sustainable formula for success in majors, though? I'm not sure he will ever contend in either of the Opens. Augusta should be right up his alley, though. Bubba is hugely entertaining. In an age where the ball flies too straight, I don't know how he manages to curve his shots as much as he does. But I hope he keeps on doing what he's doing. We need personalities like him at the top of the game.
Elling: He has a little Laura Davies in his swing, no? His feet leave the ground at times. As for the majors, that's a valid point, but he was in the mix at Oakmont a few years ago, and that was the toughest track you'll ever see for guys playing from the rough. Ogilvy said Bubba was "bunting it out there" 330 yards with a controlled swing in their Accenture match. Unreal. The guy, as David Feherty puts it, "is as nervous as a box of frogs," but he's gotten better at dealing with the fans and media, too.
Huggan: Let's face it, can you think of two more different people/golfers than Bubba and Luke? Is to golf's credit that two such diverse characters and methods can be successful.
Elling: Amen to that. That's the best point made in this space today.
Huggan: I can see Bubba doing OK in the two Opens, but your point supports mine. He is prone to the disasters you can't have if you want to win.
There was all sorts of chatter about the future of the Match Play at the Marana resort where it's been staged for the past few iterations. Would a different venue help give it a boost?

Elling: The issue is that, in order to move it, it would almost certainly require a date change. There's no place left to play in the States where weather is warm enough in the dead of winter. California and Florida are saturated markets. Where do you go?

Huggan: The course doesn't look great. The weather was dodgy (lovely here in Scotland at the moment) and no one was there. I'm sure wee Timmy can do better if he tries hard enough. You could, of course, take a World Golf Championship somewhere other than the U.S. It's nice in the southern hemisphere at this time of year I'm told. I do wonder if Finchem can even spell A-B-R-O-A-D.

Elling: Speaking of Finchem, there was a rumor floating around that the Accenture people wanted to move to a bigger locale, and wanted to move the match play to Doral, another WGC stop. Doral's new sponsor, Cadillac, would move its stroke-play event to its more familiar haunts in Detroit. Finchem shot that notion down in flames. With kerosene. I think it'll be back in Tucson next year, tepid attendance and all.
Huggan: I'm sure it will, too. Mindless.
Speaking of match-play entities, the locale for the 2018 Ryder Cup will be announced in six weeks, with France, Germany, Holland, Spain and Portugal in the mix. Any whispers overseas about frontrunners and favorites?

Elling: Richard Hills, the official from the European Tour who runs the Ryder Cup, was at the Match Play event all last week. I told him I voted for Portugal or Spain. He laughed and said he would take it under advisement. Hey, I tried.

Huggan: The best course is in France. But that means nothing. I confidently predict that the 2018 Ryder Cup will go to the country promising to pay the European Tour the most money. It's that simple. And that cynical.

Elling: This would hold true about my feelings on match play relative to staying in Tucson, as well as the Ryder -- the course is about the fourth-most important element during a match-play week. It's about players, players and the players. To me, Celtic Manor was fine. It's great to have drama at the end with risk-reward shots, but everybody plays the same venue. A Ryder Cup staged on a par-3 course would be interesting to me.
Huggan: Yes, in the end the golf saves the European Tour's otherwise shameless blushes. But I do worry about the 2014 matches, already set for the Centenary course at Gleneagles in Scotland. It's only the third-best course -- on the property.